


John Cena in real life

by JustSagan



Category: Samurai Jack (Cartoon), WWE
Genre: AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!, F/M, Pain, Wrestling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 10:53:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11622066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSagan/pseuds/JustSagan
Summary: You may love or hate John Cena, but I feel you should all know what John Cena is like in real life.





	1. Your time is up!

[](https://imgur.com/gOAq9Cm)

You all know about John Cena right? Well, what you may not know is that he is a much different person in real life. How different? Well… Let me tell you...

It was a normal day for John Cena. He was finished with Monday night Raw for the night, and he was ready to head home.

John Cena went to his car, and tried to unlock it. However, he accidentally set off the car's alarm, and this pissed him off.

"Shut the fuck up you piece of fucking shit!"

John Cena then beat the shit out of his car. He continued to beat it, until the alarm finally stopped. Unfortunately, John Cena had beaten his car so badly, that it would no longer work.

"Shit! Shit! Now i'll have to take some other fags car!"

John Cena then searched for another car to dominate. Fortunately for him, some fag was about to get into his own car that was parked a few feet away. John Cena decided to strike.

"Hey you Bitch ass Faggot ass Dick ass Cuck ass Clown ass Scat ass Cunt ass Ass ass Mother fucking ass Mother fucker! This is my car now!"

John Cena then punched the man to the ground, and then went behind the man's car.

"I'm gonna show you how a real man handles a car!" John Cena said, as he pulled his pants down and started to rape the car.

The man watched in horror as his car got raped by John Cena, and the man knew that he could do nothing to save his car.

After about 8 minutes, John Cena knew that the car was completely dominated. So he smacked the man in the face with his Cena cock, and took the man's car keys.

"Thanks for the car you little bitch!"

John Cena then got in the car, ran the man over with it, and then drove to the nearest hotel.

As soon as he got to the hotel, he ditched his bitch car, and ran inside to get a room.

"Yo bitch, I need a room!" John Cena said, to the bitch working the front desk.

"I'm sorry sir, but you had to call in advance to…"

"I SAID, YO BITCH, I NEED A ROOM!"

John Cena then grabbed the bitch, and Attitude Adjusted her onto the desk. This of course killed her. John Cena decided to take this opportunity to grab a room key, and started heading up to his room.

When he got to his room, he would have normaly just beat the door down. However, he needed privacy, so he decided to just use the bitch keycard to open the door.

When John Cena finally got into his room, he decided to make himself comfortable on the bed. He then pulled out his cellphone, and searched up Samurai Jack Season 5 Episode 6. He then went to the scene where Ashi was pushed into the hot ash as a child.

"Fuck, this is hot!"

John Cena then paused the video right at the part where she was being burned, and took his pants off. He then started to masturbate to Ashi. John Cena then decided that he wanted to get a little kinky.

John Cena pulled some burning hot coal out of his ass that he bought on Amazon using Amazon Prime, which was able to get the coal shipped to him with in two days, all at an affordable price! He then started to rub the Coal onto his dick, and pretended that it was Ashi.

"Oh yes! Burn my cock Ashi! Burn it! BURN IT GOOD!"

John Cena continued to masturbate with the coal for a good 10 minutes. The smell of burning cock started to fill the room, but John Cena didn't care, he was in heaven.

"Oh… I'm gonna… I'm gonna… YOUR TIME IS UP, MY TIME IS NOW! YOU CAN'T SEE ME, MY TIME IS NOW!"

John Cena then shot boiling hot sperm out of his dick all over the place. At first, John Cena was happy for the pleasure that Ashi gifted him with… But then, he started to cry.

"What am I doing with my life?! Ashi is too good for me! She will never love me!"

John Cena continued to cry, and cry, and cry some more. It seemed like nothing was

going to cheer him up… But then, he had an idea.

"Wait! I just have to do something big to impress her! And I know just the thing… I have to bring down Capitalism."

John Cena wasted no time, and ran out to his car.

"Wh...What is it Master Cena?" The car said, in a scared and nervous tone.

"Its JOHN Cena you stupid bitch! Now drive me to the White house!"

John Cena then hopped in, and they were on their way.

The drive took a few days, and it didn't help that John Cena kept masturbating to Ashi, and getting his cum all over the inside of Car Bitch. But they still made it to the White House.

"Alright bitch, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Car Bitch then drove off as fast as she could, while John Cena broke into the White House. He had to deal with some of the guards, but that was no trouble for him. He was JOHN FUCKING CENA after all.

After fighting his way through more bitch guards, John Cena had finally made his way to the Oval office, where the President was sitting.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing here John Cena?!"

"Alright (Insert current president here), i'm here to bring down Capitalism! If you get in my way, then your time is up!"

The President was shocked to hear this, how could John Cena turn on America like that?

"I'm sorry John, but I will not allow you to bring down Capitalism!"

The President then charged at John Cena, and punched him in his abs. But unfortunately, John Cena's abs were to strong, and the President just ended up breaking his own hand.

"That's it fag! Your time is up! My time is NOW!"

John Cena then grabbed the President, and Attitude Adjusted him onto the floor. This didn't kill the President, but it did knock the President out. With the President out of the way, John Cena knew that he was free to bring down Capitalism.

"I'm doing this for you Ashi! It's all for you!" John Cena said, as he walked behind the President's desk.

John Cena searched the desk, and managed to find the "bring down Capitalism" button. He smiled, and got ready to push it. However, just as he was about to push the button, he heard a voice.

"John Cena! You will not bring down Capitalism!" Said the strange voice.

John Cena looked around in confusion. He had no idea who said that, and had no idea where the voice came from.

"Hey you bitch ass voice! Your threats don't scare me! I'm gonna bring down Capitalism, and there's nothing you can do to stop me! Ashi will be mine!"

Just as John Cena got done yelling, a ghost suddenly started to manifest itself in the center of the room.

"So you bitch ass ghost finally decided to… Oh no!" The sudden realization of who the ghost was had scared John Cena.

"John Cena, walk away now, and I won't kick your ass."

John Cena stood there in shock… He couldn't believe that he was talking to the one and only Adam Smith, The Father Of Capitalism.

"I… I must bring down Capitalism! It's the only way to make Ashi love me!"

Adam Smith stared at him for a moment, with a look of disappointment on his face.

"John Cena, you leave me no choice!"

Adam Smith then ran at John Cena and punched him in the face. He had punched John Cena so hard, that John Cena was knock through a nearby window.

As he started to plummet to the ground, time seemed to slow down. The only thing John Cena could think about while he was falling… Was Ashi.

He kept thinking how hot she was, how much he could relate to her, how much he loved her, and how he wished that they could have been together.

With all of those thoughts clouding his mind, he decided to have fantasy sex with her one last time, before he died…

…

…

…

Heads up, the next chapter is going to have a sex scene between John Cena, and Ashi… You have been warned.


	2. My time is now!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HA HA HA!!!!

John Cena was walking through a forest, without a care in the world. He was a strong, powerful warrior that no one could beat. However, John Cena was also a very lonely warrior, and desperately needed love.

Fortunately, after wandering around the forest for a while, he had came across a girl. But this was no ordinary girl, this was Ashi! The best Waifu ever! And the best part? She was bathing herself! So John Cena could see her naked body.

"Oh fuck, this is so hot." John Cena said, as he started to do his signature "you can't see me" hand gesture to turn himself invisible, he then pulled his pants down and started to masturbate.

John Cena was a master masterbater, and was able to turn himself invisible with his hand gesture. Well, that's what John Cena thought at least.

What John Cena didn't know was that Ashi knew that he was "hiding" and masturbating to her, and she was not happy.

"You there! Man with cock in hand, what are you doing?!"

John Cena was shocked that she had noticed him.

"What?! You can't see me!" John Cena said, as he continued to masturbate.

"Stop masterbating to me you freak!"

Ashi screaming at John Cena didnt stop him from masterbating. As a matter of fact, John Cena liked her screaming at him, so he masturbated even harder. This pushed Ashi to her limit.

"That's it! If you wont stop, then i'll make you stop!"

Ashi then charged at John Cena, and tried to kick him in the face. However, Ashi had underestimated John Cena.

"You think your sexy ass can take me down?" John Cena said, as he grabbed her leg, and threw her to the ground.

Ashi was shocked by John Cena's strength and speed. She had never seen someone as fast, strong, and handsome as John Cena. She knew that John Cena was the perfect man, and that she needed John Cena.

"Oh please, fuck me John Cena!" Ashi said, as she bent over, and presented herself to John Cena.

"Aww ya! My time is now!"

John Cena then whipped his Cena cock out, and got ready to fuck Ashi. However, Just as he was about to fuck Ashi, A man came up to John Cena and punched him in the face. John Cena recovered, and was about to attack the man, but stopped when he saw who it was.

"V… Vince McMahon?!"

Vince McMahon stared at John Cena with a shit eating grin on his face.

"John Cena, I heard that you tried to bring down Capitalism! Don't you know that Capitalism is unstoppable?!"

"But…"

"No buts John Cena! I'm gonna show you how unstoppable Capitalism is… By fucking your bitch!"

Vince McMahon then pulled out his old man cock, and started to fuck Ashi.

"Oh yes Vince! Your cock is so great!" Ashi said, much to John Cenas dismay.

"No… NOOOO!" John Cena said, as he started to cry.

John Cena was crushed. Not only had Capitalism taken his perfect girl, but Ashi also loved Capitalism dick. Everything John Cena had known was a lie.

However, John Cena suddenly felt a sharp pain in the back of his head, and everything went black.

(Ha Ha! I lied about the John Cena sex part!)

John Cena then woke up in the hospital. He had severe damage to the back of his head after falling out of the White House. He was in deep pain, but that's not what bothered him. What bothered him was the fact that even in has fantasy, he still could never get Ashi…

So he sat in the hospital, sad and alone.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a prank bro!  
> I hope you enjoyed and have a great day!

**Author's Note:**

> Ha ha ha...


End file.
